Friday 5 // Things My Mother Taught Me

I think it's about darn time I introduce my mama to the blog! Sure, she's made some appearances here & there, but that just won't suffice. My mother is a saint and this is what she's taught me.

O N E // Birds are unpleasant creatures that should be feared. Nothing will send Susan screaming (okay, that's kinda a lie, lots of things will do that actually-shadows, "sneaking" up on her, lizards crawling up through the drain of her bathroom sink) like a bird will. There were lots of episodes in parks, on beaches, where birds invaded our territory and my mom quickly abandoned. One time, when I was about 10 years old, a bird flew into our house. My mom ran out of the house, leaving my younger sister and I not quite sure what to do...because OBVIOUSLY we were afraid of birds too. In case you're wondering, our neighbor had to come over and chase the bird out of our house with a broom.

T W O // You can make a poor man's tomato soup using ketchup and water. I have mentioned this to Erik countless times throughout our relationship, but we have yet to try the ketchup water soup. (because how expensive is normal tomato soup anyway?!)

T H R E E // Gas stoves are very dangerous and you will blow up if you use one. I had to have been 6 years old when one day my mom told me to draw a picture of myself. And then told me to rip it up. She explained to me this is what would happen if I ever touched our gas stove. I am 27 years old and I still will not touch a gas stove.

F O U R // If something is on sale (ex. 2/$5) it doesn't mean you have to buy TWO!! Silly me in the grocery store thinking that I had to throw 2 of everything in my mom's shopping cart to get deals & steals. A glaring look from mom & a quick math lesson taught me you can still get said discounts, even if you only buy one of whatever is on sale, imagine that! I taught Erik this lesson recently when he almost bought two 3 packs of gum and I threw one out of the grocery cart at checkout (because who needs that much gum?! me, probably actually). Erik looked at me confused, until I explained to him what Susie had taught me long ago. He was amazed.

F I V E // (I saved the best for last) Don't make a sex tape. I'm not kidding. She told me this. And she might try and deny, but she did. She even had a reason, "Because they always get out." 

Love you, mom!